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30 August 2016

Stuck in an auto, on Outer Ring Road, in monsoon, for Lagaan hours



Getting stuck in traffic is nothing out of the ordinary.

Getting stuck in Outer Ring Road traffic, in heavy rain, at a time when people are heading out from office on a Monday evening, that is something.

After Ola, Uber and Meru failed in heavy rain, a reluctant auto driver asked for 150 rupees to travel a distance that usually would come to about 60 rupees. Back in college negotiation was quick: pick up a stone and hit on the driver's head. Sometimes that used to solve other problems too. But those years are long gone.

The driver said he would charge the normal fare if he did not get stuck in traffic en route to the destination. When reminded that it was akin to saying he would pay someone if water, upon touching, was not wet, he pretended as if he was born with hearing issues, as if the nurse herself immediately said on seeing the baby, "Eeaara problem."

Anyway, he was not a bad chap. The traffic was deadly. Outer Ring Road is mostly used by people who live in Gurgaon, Noida and Faridabad. Delhi is the scapegoat. The south Delhi portion of Outer Ring Road is also used by cargo trucks to go from one state to another aka Haryana to Uttar Pradesh or the other way round, passing through the hapless national capital while it eats smoke day in, day out.

Then the National Green Tribunal comes after Delhi's arse with lathis. It's like a YouTube prank. You hit someone from the back and run, while the bloke who was standing behind you gets kicked in the nuts.

After 45 minutes of not moving much, the only way to salvage the situation was to shoot people. It turned out to be good fun.

It took 80 more minutes to reach home. But no regrets. The auto driver got his 150 rupees, with an unsolicited advice: buy a desk, go to Dilli Haat and open a palm-reading stall since he was quite good in forecasting traffic jam.








Public toilet. It is said politics is dirty.







It is said that some aam aadmis stand under an umbrella under the name board of another 'aam aadmi'.



It is said that some people smile while crossing the road. It is also said that some people have taken having the last laugh too seriously.





It is said that some people are waterproof. It is a different matter that back in the hostel days those who were called "waterproof" were the ones who used to take bath twice a year.




It is said that those who don't care about broken brake lights don't care about the brakes.


Gandalf rides to the Black Gate.


Gandalf's brother also rides to the Black Gate.


Darth Vader follows.


Anyone remember this serial from DD Metro?


We believe you, Delhi.




It is said that those who don't believe in side indicators use tree leaves.


Nearing home.


Home.


It is going to take a while for the pants to become dry. At Shahpur Jat.

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Journalist. Taking a walk in India. | Email to journeybasket[at]gmail | Special thanks to M.S. Gopal | All rights reserved. No commercial use.

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