taking a walk in india: photos | stories | essays

30 August 2016

Stuck in an auto, on Outer Ring Road, in monsoon, for Lagaan hours


Getting stuck in traffic is nothing out of the ordinary.

Getting stuck in Outer Ring Road traffic, in heavy rain, at a time when people are heading out from office on a Monday evening, that is something.


After Ola, Uber and Meru failed in heavy rain, a reluctant auto driver asked for 150 rupees to travel a distance that usually would come to about 60 rupees. Back in college negotiation was quick: pick up a stone and hit on the driver's head. Sometimes that used to solve other problems too. But those years are long gone.

The driver said he would charge the normal fare if he did not get stuck in traffic en route to the destination. When reminded that it was akin to saying he would pay someone if water, upon touching, was not wet, he pretended as if he was born with hearing issues, as if the nurse herself immediately said on seeing the baby, "Eeaara problem."

Anyway, he was not a bad chap. The traffic was deadly. Outer Ring Road is mostly used by people who live in Gurgaon, Noida and Faridabad. Delhi is the scapegoat. The south Delhi portion of Outer Ring Road is also used by cargo trucks to go from one state to another aka Haryana to Uttar Pradesh or the other way round, passing through the hapless national capital while it eats smoke day in, day out.

Then the National Green Tribunal comes after Delhi's arse with lathis. It's like a YouTube prank. You hit someone from the back and run, while the bloke who was standing behind you gets kicked in the nuts.

After 45 minutes of not moving much, the only way to salvage the situation was to shoot people. It turned out to be good fun.

It took 80 more minutes to reach home. But no regrets. The auto driver got his 150 rupees, with an unsolicited advice: buy a desk, go to Dilli Haat and open a palm-reading stall since he was quite good in forecasting traffic jam.








Public toilet. It is said politics is dirty.







It is said that some aam aadmis stand under an umbrella under the name board of another 'aam aadmi'.



It is said that some people smile while crossing the road. It is also said that some people have taken having the last laugh too seriously.





It is said that some people are waterproof. It is a different matter that back in the hostel days those who were called "waterproof" were the ones who used to take bath twice a year.




It is said that those who don't care about broken brake lights don't care about the brakes.


Gandalf rides to the Black Gate.


Gandalf's brother also rides to the Black Gate.


Darth Vader follows.


Anyone remember this serial from DD Metro?


We believe you, Delhi.




It is said that those who don't believe in side indicators use tree leaves.


Nearing home.


Home.


It is going to take a while for the pants to become dry. At Shahpur Jat.

57 comments:

  1. Verrry interesting post. Now I know what to do when I get stuck in a traffic next time. Hilarious captions too :D Finally, I know someone who has seen Gandalf in real :P

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    Replies
    1. Sad thing is our Gandalf didn't know he has been riding inside Mordor all this time :-)

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  2. Interesting...You know during my 2 years in Delhi...it never rained.. in fact it rained for one or two days that too at night...Being from Mumbai, I had a different experience. I had even brought an umbrella from Daryaganj but never used it ever. This reminded me of Good Old Delhi days :D

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    Replies
    1. I really wanted to make fun of Mumbai rain but I'm not taking any risk ha ha

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  3. Hi Jb. That was quite a journey for me, concerning, hilarious and pleasant. And clicking photos while stuck in traffic sounds like a really fun way to pass time, especially if you are going to Blog a commentary on it later. I might give this a try :)
    #MyFriendAlexa

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    Replies
    1. Although it would be an inappropriate thing to do, one can make even a funeral funny if life demands it. cheers!

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  4. Gave me a good laugh while I had my morning cup today - Gandalf and Darth vadar in one night- boy werent you lucky!?!

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    Replies
    1. They say laughing early mornings is good for health. Cheers!

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  5. well I am from Mumbai, so this is kind of normal for me :) I love how you took that time to observe things around you :)

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  6. Hmm mm traffic
    Another major problem .

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  7. So, when you get stuck in traffic, start observing others and click them. Best way to pass your time! Wonderful post pictures :)

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  8. Dude...you have a way with words and with pictures.

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  9. Sometimes inspiration can come at odd places. Yours came when you were stuck in traffic. Good pictures but we could have ben spared the undies ;)!

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  10. Hahaha....this was a neat way of passing the time! Very creatively you have used the pics to weave a story.

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  11. Autos everywhere are menace I guess. These auto fellows in Bangalore are so pathetic that I cant tell you how lecherous they are. And that was a nice way to kill time and not curse the entire world!
    Regards
    Tina

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    Replies
    1. You have a choice of keeping calm even in the most maddening situation. Cheers!

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  12. Creativity at best at a time of unrest hehe...liked the post!

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    Replies
    1. They say you must know what to do when life gives you lemon on a rainy day while stuck in traffic. Cheers!

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  13. Been there, done that! For 2 years I used to travel the Noida-Gurgaon route for work 😓

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    Replies
    1. May the wind be at your back if you have to do that particular route to work again :-) Cheers!

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  14. Very interesting post.I think the auto driver will make a hit with the palmistry stall.

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    Replies
    1. He will still give the same advice though. There's a lot of traffic outside Dilli Haat.

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  15. Haha! I had such fun reading your post especially the captions ��
    What a creative way to weave a story!

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  16. You put good use of jam time. Loved your creativity!

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  17. Replies
    1. Thank you earthling, we come in peace :-)

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  18. Loved the way you carve out a story through seemingly random pics on just another rainy day. Nicely done :).

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  19. Well traffic by itself is a problem! Traffic and rains is such a disaster! Loved this post.

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    Replies
    1. This was one of those self-taught anger management lessons :-)

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  20. Man!! It sure must have been one hell of a ride! Getting stuck in the traffic is the last thing anyone wants and that's what happens first thing in the day if the rains come early morning :P

    Glad that the auto wallah didn't ask for more fare!

    Cheers
    Geets

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    Replies
    1. Now that monsoon is over it's time to gear up for the coming nuclear winter in Delhi. Getting stuck in traffic won't be fun then with the fog and smog hiding interesting people to shoot :-) cheers!

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  21. I was once stuck in madiwala junction! Terrible. Friday. Long weekend. Rains. Traffic. Worst possible conditions ever.

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    Replies
    1. That's a Mad-walla place. Was hoping the situation would have improved now (remembering from my old Bangalore days).

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  22. This year's rain has vanished all the complaints to Lord Indra for past few years for not giving enough rain. Coming to your post, very nicely written, loved the punches you put in between...

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  23. nice documentation . Enjoyed reading this.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Anindya. Glad that I didn't waste your time :-)

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  24. haha you atleast got an auto. In Mumbai, The autowallahs will not even stop or let you board even if you are willing to pay surge fare. I used to stand outside for my office for almost 40 minutes everyday, waiting for 10-14 rickshaws to reject me before I get a ride home..lolz..

    www.hautekutir.com

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  25. In Mumbai, traveling kills you more than 8 hrs of work..
    The rising traffic, rising fares, dont know whats instore more..
    so many times because of our own stupidity (driving styles) we add to the traffic..
    Happy to connect #zarahatkeblogreads

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  26. Kudos for utilizing your travel time so well and clicking so many pix. In Mumbai, one gets stuck in traffic almost everyday and it is a complete nightmare.

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  27. Very well documented. Loved the humour !!

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  28. Excellent! Really loved the post and the concept. I should try this out in Bangalore sometime. I'm sure Silk Board may yield some interesting results.

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  29. Excellent post... thats the best way to spend time when stuck in traffic i must say.. loved the captions :)
    do visit www.directingdreams.com

    ReplyDelete

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